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Saturday, June 15, 2013

Break Up

I needed to have a moment and write a post about how I'm feeling right now...

My original intent for my blog has always been to write out my feelings and thoughts in order to have an outlet so my brain isn't always cluttered. That hasn't happened in awhile, but that is because I tend to distract my feelings with fun things. But its only right that since I'm going through a tough time that I should be able to really let it out in order to gain "clarity" of the whole situation. Its still fresh so right now I am in the "shock" phase.

I feel like there are 3 parts to a breakup:
1. Shock/Pain: Its going to hurt and not put you in a good place
2. Regret: Maybe this wasnt such a good idea.
3. Acceptance: This was something that happened for a reason. Now is the time to let it be.

Going through a break up is never easy and I certainly don't make it any easier on myself when I am the one doing the "breaking". Mainly because I don't want to hurt anyone in the process. But i feel like when you try to make sure no ones feelings are hurt, it makes things worse. Or is that just me?

I'm at a point in my life where I need to work on my #1 flaw in a relationship; selfishness. Its hard for me to admit and even harder to work though. But I want to try. For now, that means I cant be in a relationship. I guess I'm not ready to share my life. Or the right person hasn't come along. How many soul mates or true loves do we get in a lifetime? I might have reached my quota/capacity and that's not a very good thought.

This relationship that just ended I wanted so badly to have a different turnout. But everything happens for a reason and because of that I have to deal with whatever comes next. I badly wanted a friendship to come out of this, but it looks like that's not going to happen.

I found this poem and it sort of explains my thought process for the break up...even though it didnt entirely come out that way. Things are still fresh so maybe things will change over time....who knows.

Letting Go

by Judy Burnette


How do you walk away from someone you love
And take the road of friend;
Can you reroute the course you have taken
And start over once again?

I don't really want to let you go
But inside me I know I must;
The times we've loved . . . the times you've left
My heart says stay . . . but it's my mind I must trust.

We have shared so much together
Laughter . . . fun times . . . tears;
Yet sometimes we can't turn back time
We must walk away, and allow ourselves to heal.

I know one day you will be happy
And your soul mate you will find;
I know we each have one out there
Even if for now . . . only in our minds.

May life be gentle with you
May God's best come your way;
And on some quiet tomorrow
You will realize things were better this way.


Are there any things that I can do to help lessen the shock/pain I am currently feeling?

XOXO

5 comments:

itsmekt said...

Break ups suck, unfortunately all we have is time, and I hate waiting.. but that life a relationship was meant for y'all it would of worked out.. if a friendship is in the cards in time it will happen..until then definitely focus on doing u!

Bijee said...

Reflect and find a lesson in the time you have had. Be excited for what is to come and the ability to apply what ever lesson(s) you may have found. Looking back, if i had known what lay ahead for me i would have ran through those breakups and learned my lesson to be with the grand finale (my hubby who all the others cant compare on their best day).

But be encouraged. Me and my hubs dated when we were a little younger and it didnt work out. We didnt talk for a while (some years) but once we did we had grown so much which is what makes us work now!

Be blessed!

TheRealNovelate.com said...

just started following you on bloglovin but i hope that things get better for you soon! be encouraged :)

Cropped Stories said...

Hey there! Here from the Blog Hop! Just wanted to let you know I'm following you via Bloglovin' :o) I hope you'll get a chance to check me out! You can find me here:

BLOG
http://www.croppedstories.blogspot.com

BLOGLOVIN'
http://www.bloglovin.com/blog/3718883

Jessica L said...

So sorry about this. Only you know what's right for you, and it doesn't hurt to do a little reflecting and soul-searching by yourself. -Jess L